The Joy of Thanksgiving
by thequeenstolemyheart
Summary: A Once Upon a Time crack fic. Henry talks Regina into having the whole crew for Thanksgiving Dinner. Established Outlaw Queen, with a little Swan Queen thrown in as well. Also Sleeping Warrior, a little Captain Swan and Swan Thief in there too. Also Rumbelle and Snowing. Pretty much all the ships lol.


**This is a prompt I received from OfficalEvilRegal. I loved the idea and thought it would be fun to write. Although this may not be exactly what you meant lol. I think my mind went a little crazy on this one! I will also apologize because I forgot that Tinkerbelle was part of your prompt and I did not include her.**

**For everyone reading this is a crack fic. It is a totally ridiculous idea that popped in my head. If you are someone who gets upset when your favorite character is made fun of then you probably don't want to read it. But if you are up for a little crazy humor though then this fic may just be for you! **

**Happy Thanksgiving!**

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"I can't believe I let Henry talk me into this!" Regina stated as she checked the turkey in the oven. "I mean Emma and Neal are one thing, but The Charming's too? Not to mention Rumple and Belle." she fumed. "And of course we had to invite Hook because he would be lonely all by himself. Oh and we can't forget Aurora and Phillip as it's their first Thanksgiving in our world! Poor Mulan is going to have to watch them fawning over each other all night!" she threw the oven mitt on the counter. "This dinner is going to be a disaster!"

Robin looked up at her as if he'd just been snapped out of a daze. "I'm sorry you lost me after I heard that I am going to have to spend and entire night with Snow White and listening to her bring every damn subject back to herself."

Regina smiled as she always did when Robin was annoyed with Snow. Snow was the embodiment of everything he'd fought against his whole life. The spoiled pampered princess that believed the entire world revolved around her, going so far as giving her husband the silent treatment for 3 days because he had dared save his life with something that would prevent him from leaving Neverland.

Yes it was safe to say that Robin couldn't stand Snow White and it secretly pleased Regina to no end.

She stepped up to him and pulled him into a heated kiss. When they pulled apart breathless Regina grinned. "I just love it when you let your annoyance with Snow White show…it's so sexy!"

Robin grinned and brought his hands around to cup her bottom. "I really can't stand her…like really really hate her."

"Umm… I love it when you talk dirty!" She pulled him into another heated kiss and he lifted her and turned to sit her on the counter. He ran his hands up and down her legs pushing her skirt up as he did so. He groaned when he heard the door open and the sing song voice of the woman in question.

"Hello! I brought pumpkin pie!" they heard Snow call from the foyer.

"And here she again just in time to ruin my life!" Robin stated.

Regina slid off the counter and straightened her skirt. "No worries dear…we will continue this later." she promised and he grinned.

It was then that Henry burst through the kitchen door. "Mom!" he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I watched the Macy's parade with Neal this morning! Do you think we can go one year?" he wanted to know.

"If it prevents us from having another family dinner I will take you every year darling." Regina stated sweetly.

Henry rolled his eyes. "Mom! It will be fine!" he told her.

She grinned down at him. "I just hope this proves how much I love you!"

Henry grinned up at her. "I love you too Mom!"

She smiled and ruffled his hair as Emma and Snow walked in the kitchen.

Emma smiled at Regina and started to speak, but was interrupted by her mother.

"Oh my goodness I worked so hard on this pie today!" Snow stated as she carried the pie to the counter. "I wanted it to be just right for our family meal." She walked to Regina and took her by the shoulders. "I'm so happy that we can bury the hatchet Regina and be a family again…especially now that I am trying to have a baby." Regina gave her a fake smile before being pulled in to the woman's arms. Emma smirked at the absolutely horrified look that crossed Regina's face.

"Of course I still haven't fully forgiven you for ruining my wedding!" she sighed and pulled back to look at Regina. "It would have been so perfect!" She said as she turned and walked out of the room.

"I curse her for twenty eight years to not remember who she is and be separated from her daughter, but it's ruining her wedding she can't forgive me for!" Regina murmured to Robin who snorted out a laugh.

Regina glanced over as someone else walked through the door and it was her turn to smirk when she saw it was Hook who made a bee line to Emma.

"Hello beautiful." The man walked up to her. "I was hoping to catch you later under the mistletoe." He told her.

Regina laughed from Robin's side. "That's Christmas Hook."

The man looked up at her for a moment before looking back to Emma. "Then what the hell am I here for?"

"The food?" Emma suggested.

The man smiled. "Well I suppose that will have to do for now. Perhaps we can meet under the mistletoe at a later date then."

Emma rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you and Neal I don't want a relationship right now?!"

"A few more I'd wager." Robin stated before turning to Regina. "I haven't heard about this mistletoe…when do we get to stand underneath it?"

Regina grinned. "Very soon darling."

They all looked over as Roland came running in the kitchen followed by Phillip and Aurora. "Dad, Regina! I beat Phillip on the Xbox again!"

"It's not fair." Phillip wined. "I'm not from this world."

"Neither is he." Emma pointed out.

"You would think that when one is bested by a child he would just take it like a man and admit defeat!" Aurora stated as she crossed her arms over her protruding belly.

"Oh don't tell me your still angry with me about earlier." He started.

Aurora looked up at him as her face flushed. "I told you I'm not going to talk about it anymore!" She turned and stormed out of the room.

Phillip looked at Robin in defeat. "I can't do anything right."

Henry ran back through the door. "Rumple and Belle are here."

"Perfect!" Regina gave an exaggerated smile. "Let's get this godforsaken meal over with!"

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Regina had used magic to make a table large enough for everyone to sit at. They all gathered around and began to eat the meal Regina had worked all day to prepare.

"This food is good guys, but wait till you try my pie." Snow stated. "You know…I'm really not a fan of turkey…it's just not my favorite." She said as she scarfed down a helping of mashed potatoes.

Regina gritted her teeth and took a few deep breaths to prevent herself from turning Snow into a damn turkey. She felt Robin's hand on her knee as he leaned over to whisper in her ear. "I promise to say lots of really nasty things about Snow tonight if you don't do whatever it is you're thinking about doing."

Regina took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Does anyone know if Thanksgiving food is good for fertility?" Snow wanted to know. "I really can't wait to have another baby!"

Robin leaned back over to Regina. "Never mind. Go ahead and do what you were thinking about doing." He told her making her laugh.

"The food is really good Mom." Henry told her.

"Thank you sweetheart." Regina smiled at him.

"So let me see if I got this straight." Charming spoke up. "Cause I'm still confused about Henry's family tree."

"You can join the club there mate." Hook spoke up from one side of Emma.

"You're Henry's Grandpa." He pointed to Rumple who rolled his eyes at the obvious statement. "But I'm his Grandpa." Charming pointed to himself.

"You can have more then one!" The entire table including Roland said collectively as they had been through this a number of times.

"Lets hope Henry inherited his brains from our side of the family." Rumple muttered.

"Who's up for desert?" Regina asked attempting to get away from the table for five minutes.

"I'll help you" Robin, Emma, Neal, Belle and Mulan said at the same time.

"She's my girl, I get to help her." Robin stated but was shoved back in his seat by Mulan.

"I was her first friend….I get to help." She told him in a tone that meant no argument.

Regina saw Robin roll his eyes as Snow once again stated to the table that everyone needed to try her pie.

When they returned with several slices of apple and pumpkin pie they began to hand them out as people said what they wanted. Charming's eyes brightened when Regina came around to him.

"Regina your apple pie sure does smell good." He stated.

"I will kill you in your sleep." Snow announced from beside him.

Charming cleared his throat. "I'll have pumpkin."

Regina glanced up at Emma. "What would you like dear."

"Umm…I think I will take apple." Her brow furrowed when Snow sent her a dangerous look. "Pumpkin." She looked longingly at the apple pie. "Can I have a little of both?"

Neal stood quickly nearly knocking Emma from her chair in the process. "I'll give it to her!"

Hook stood from the other side of her. "No mate I will give it to her.'

Neal looked at Hook in anger. "She doesn't want you to give it to her!"

"Oh for Christ's sake I will give it to her!" Regina stated setting a plate in front of Emma as the two men flopped back into their chairs. "Emma dear do us all a favor and decide between these two fools soon. I feel that is the only thing that will save our sanity."

Emma smiled sheepishly at Regina.

"She kissed me in Neverland." Hook mumbled.

"She gave birth to my kid!" Neal stated.

"Yes and she made the most powerful magic ever with me." Regina stated effectively shutting the two men up.

Hook leaned in front of Emma in Neal's direction. "That is pretty hot mate."

"Yeah, it is." Neal agreed nodding his head.

"Very hot!" Robin threw in from the other side of the table.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Snow pounded the table. "IT'S INCEST!" She screamed!

Regina leaned on the table. "The most powerful magic _ever_…." She drawled out just to torture the woman.

"No no no…I'm not listening!" Snow covered her ears and began to hum loudly.

"Damn it Regina do you have to get her all worked up like that?" Emma slammed her fork down.

"I live for it dear." Regina told her.

"Daddy what's incest?" Roland wanted to know and Robin groaned.

"Maybe we should change the subject." Belle suggested sweetly.

"Oh but darling it was just getting interesting." Rumple wined.

Belle smiled. "Maybe we should all state something we are thankful for…I'll start." She thought for a moment. "I'm thankful to be here with all my friends and I'm thankful for Rumple…my true love."

"Charming and I have true love!" Snow piped in.

Belle stared at the woman slightly exasperated and turned to Henry. "What about you Henry?"

Henry smiled. "I'm thankful for my family…especially my Moms and Dad. I'm thankful for my house and Robin and my soon to be little brother Roland." Roland grinned proudly that he would soon be able to call Henry brother. "And I'm thankful for all this food that Mom worked really hard to make." Henry finished.

"And?" Snow asked.

Henry rolled his eyes. "And Grandma's pie."

Snow sat back and beamed.

"What about you Phillip?" Henry turned to the man sitting next to him.

"I'm thankful for Aurora" the man started. "And for our baby…"

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" Aurora screamed.

"Can't do what darling?" Phillip wanted to know.

"I can't keep lying." She told him. "This isn't your baby Phillip." Everyone sat in silence waiting for her to go on. "IT'S MULAN'S!"

The entire table stared open mouthed at the pregnant red head.

Phillip shook his head. "What?"

"You know how true love is magic?" Aurora asked. "Well Mulan and I made a magic baby!"

"The baby's mine?" Mulan said stunned.

"You remember the night right before we found Phillip…" Aurora started.

"Oh I remember…." Mulan interrupted with a grin. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"After we found Phillip you stopped coming around." Aurora looked down. "I thought you didn't want me."

"I thought you didn't want me because you had your true love back." Mulan said standing.

Aurora stood as well. "You're my true love." Aurora told her.

They ran around the table into each other's arms as everyone else continued to stare.

"You're having Mulan's baby." Phillip said in shock.

"I'm sorry Phillip but I'm in love with Mulan now." Aurora said. She took Mulan's hand and without another word they turned to leave.

The table sat in complete silence as they watched them go. Snow of course was the first to break it.

"I want a magic baby!"

Robin gritted his teeth. "You have one you selfish spoiled cow!" He gestured at Emma as Snow looked at him offended.

Regina ran her hand along his thigh. "I want you so bad right now."

He turned and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

"She's having Mulan's baby." Phillip said again.

Hook sighed. "Come on mate, if I'm not going to be kissing Emma tonight then I'll just take you for to the Rabbit Hole for some rum to help you forget your sorrows."

"You're going to the Rabbit Hole?" Belle's Lacey side came to the surface a bit. "Rumple let's go to the Rabbit Hole."

Rumple rolled his eyes and stood. "If you insist." He turned to Regina. "Your Majesty it's been a pleasure as always."

"Likewise." Regina scowled at him.

"We should probably go too." Charming stood to leave.

Snow huffed and stood to follow Charming. "He called me a cow Charming and you did nothing!" Snow fumed. "You will definitely not be getting any for a while!"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Then I guess you won't be having anymore magic babies." she muttered. "Dinner was great Regina…let's never do it again."

"Nothing would please me more Ms. Swan." Regina sneered.

When the room had finally cleared and it was only the four of them again Henry looked over to Regina and stated very seriously. "Mom, next year lets go to the Macy's parade."

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**I hope that all of your Thanksgivings aren't quite as eventful as this one!**

**I would love to hear what you thought.**


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